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Open Letter to Today’s Economy:
And while we’re at it, where’s my Discover Card Cash Back Rewards, and my airline miles, and my name-brand Vitamin Water? And where’s my Dutch Brothers coffee and my athletic club membership? And my Title Nine catalogues (oh right…I throw those straight into the recycling bin these days, with a little sob). Oh, and my kids called: they want their Mini Boden clothes back. And more importantly, their allowances. And remind me again…what’s Gymboree? Because I saw an ad urging me to accumulate something called GymBucks, and it rang a distant bell in my head, causing a momentary surge of adrenaline…
Come to think of it, two years ago, I owned a top-of-the-line Maclaren
Techno XT. It ain’t no Bugaboo, I realize, but she was beaut. Charcoal gray padding, high tech aluminum chassis, all-wheel-drive, baby. So where’s my Mac, huh?
That’s the one my mom backed over with the van.
Crunching it to smithereens.
In the parking lot of the Disneyland Hotel.
So that one’s on me, Economy.
Now. Remind me again why I’m drinking Trader Joe’s $4.99 bottle of merlot?